On my own

For the first time since I became a mom, I will spend the night by myself tonight. This morning, I kissed Riley and his pops goodbye and headed to Sacramento. I won't see them again until tomorrow night.

Frankly, I've really been looking forward to this night. It's not that I wanted to ditch my guys, but I've been fantasizing about a night without breastfeeding, diaper changes and 3 a.m. screaming. I have been looking forward to a quiet night, one that I could sleep through (for the love of god!).

And boy, is it ever quiet here. And boring. And a little sad.

I miss my guys.

I realize tonight how much I cherish the fascinating conversations Andy and I have each night. I wish I could tell him about all of the last minute craziness surrounding my event tomorrow and brainstorm with him once again about smart things to say to certain state leaders. And I miss kissing the crazy monkey, as we tend to call the boy lately. I bet if I added it up, I plant more than 100 kisses on him a day. He probably only got 15 today. He'll live, I know, but I want my other 85 kisses!

Honestly, I expected to be thrilled to have the night off. I was going to revel in it, have a wild night on the town, have too many drinks and sleep more hours than I could imagine. Instead, I find myself here watching videos of my guys that I took a couple of weeks ago.

I miss those cats.