Missing the boy

Every week I grow more fond of Riley. Recently, I've started having urges to rush home from work to be with him, and I've been a little sad to see him go to bed at night. Since Riley was born people have said, "the time goes by so fast." I've always thought that was bogus. The first year felt like five years (sometimes like five years in prison). But all of a sudden, time seems to be whooshing past, and my baby is far too quickly turning into a little boy. I want to stop the clock and savor every cuddle before he no longer wants to give them.

Now I find myself shocked -- SHOCKED -- to be heartsick over not seeing him for 48 hours. This weekend I'm going away, without Riley, for the first time in the 19 months since he was born. When my mom's group first planned this trip to Napa, months ago, I was certain I wouldn't miss the boy. A weekend of wine-tasting and lady-bonding instead of midnight wake-ups, wretched diapers and Riley's non-stop version of Tune in Tokyo? Sign me up! Other moms said they'd want to get back early on Sunday to spend time with their kids and I was like, "Peace out, gals. I'll be at Prager Port Works."

But something has changed since we planned this trip. I'm hours away from leaving and all I can think about is how soft Riley's fleshy cheeks feel when he rubs them against mine. I'm laughing remembering how my budding comedian shut me out of my own room this morning then stood on the other side of the door gleefully taunting "ha-ha"! I'm so (surprisingly) sad about leaving him for the whole weekend that I'm feeling pretty heartbroken. I might even come home early on Sunday.

In other words, guess who has finally found her footing as a mom? This gal.