Bonding with other moms
Generally I'm not much of a joiner. I don't like clubs and I almost unilaterally reject group exercise classes. But watching my friends in Sacramento, so many of whom are becoming moms at the same time, and missing my mom friends scattered across the Bay Area and elsewhere has made me long for relationships with other moms in my neighborhood. I figured a good place to start might be the prenatal yoga classes offered a few blocks from my house. Side benefit: exercise that feels tremendously good to my increasingly foreign and sore body.
At my second class tonight I met two women due within two months of me, around the same age, who also seemed interested in becoming friends. I asked one of them if she had any interest in starting a mommies group (awful name -- I welcome alternative suggestions). I acknowledged that I have no idea what we would do in such a group (again -- suggestions are encouraged!), but thought that it could be fun. She agreed and we exchanged cards. Then my face fell -- it turns out she is a political reporter. Ugh! I half-joked that I don't normally talk to reporters. She half-joked back that it would all be off the record. Fair enough. I can't turn away a potential new friend just because I'm afraid to get quoted. She actually seems really cool. I'm hoping we can recruit some others and make a go of a mommy group. It won't replace what I'm missing in Sacramento and elsewhere, but who knows -- maybe it will inspire a good story!
At my second class tonight I met two women due within two months of me, around the same age, who also seemed interested in becoming friends. I asked one of them if she had any interest in starting a mommies group (awful name -- I welcome alternative suggestions). I acknowledged that I have no idea what we would do in such a group (again -- suggestions are encouraged!), but thought that it could be fun. She agreed and we exchanged cards. Then my face fell -- it turns out she is a political reporter. Ugh! I half-joked that I don't normally talk to reporters. She half-joked back that it would all be off the record. Fair enough. I can't turn away a potential new friend just because I'm afraid to get quoted. She actually seems really cool. I'm hoping we can recruit some others and make a go of a mommy group. It won't replace what I'm missing in Sacramento and elsewhere, but who knows -- maybe it will inspire a good story!
Instead of Mommy group. You can call it a parent's organization. You could also call it a women's group and if anyone ever asks to join, you can add, "Oh, yes, it's a women with young children group."
ReplyDeleteAbout the political reporter, since you won't be drinking for a long while, you don't have to worry about saying something you regret, so go for it!
I like "young parents" group - then it opens the door to some fun gay dads (if you want to let them into the club). ;-)
ReplyDeleteWhere in the world would we find gay dads in San Francisco? Ha ha -- probably just as common as straight ones.
ReplyDeleteGood points, C and R. I am thinking about sending an email to our neighborhood parents' list serv asking if anyone wants to join a new parents group. Depending on the interest, we could collectively decide whether it makes sense to have a moms group, dads group and/or co-ed parents group. I think part of the appeal of the moms group is to get to spend some of your maternity leave time together as well as talking about all of the otherwise unspeakable plagues of pregnancy. But I bet Andy and other guys would appreciate a dad's and/or parents group, so maybe that's the way to go. We'll see where the interest lies. Thanks!
Why not call it "let's meet at my house on thursday afternoon?" or "see you at the park, Monday at 10:30?"
ReplyDeleteThe "mommies' group" thing kind of turns me off too. "Lunch with the gals" works. Mainly, maybe, because I hear these stories from mother-friends of the horrible, pre-PTA politics of mommy groups and it sounds kinda, blech, unappealing.
I like Richard's comments about keeping any title gender neutral though. However, I'll PC-one-up him and say it opens the doors to straight dads, too. Straight dads can be primary caregivers! 'Cause Rob's gonna be. :)